Detachment

I was watching a movie the other night, and a word came up, and I thought – yes, that’s the perfect word for 2017. Detachment.

2016 was not one of the years I would remember as good or particularly important. It was emotionally draining: started as very promising regarding a long relationship I was trying to resurrect for past 8 years, culminated in an almost disaster in July and then winded down towards the end to a peaceful business as usual. I am basically in the same place where I was in end of 2015 and would happily pay a small fortune if I could forget 2016 as it never happened. That’s how significant it was.

Anyway… I am a bit fed up with always being there for everybody who needs me, uncoditionally, accepting literary everything that’s thrown my way without asking questions and giving my positive energy to those in need and being left drained, frustrated, empty and tired. Yes, last year’s word was “acceptance” and I lived true to it until almost the last day of 2016.

Don’t get me wrong – I love being there for people in need. The problem is, I cannot feel that point where I need to detach from their problems and to deal with my own. Because, my positive energy is not infinite, my helping hand is not made of steel and my heart not made of stone. I get too involved in what is going on. That’s why it’s “detachment” for 2017. I need to hold my own space for awhile and to replenish and refocuss. It’s not that I want to spend the year alone meditating in a cave, but something similar. LOL! Let’s see how it goes.

This is the first spread in Book of Days 2017. It was inspired by a spread Effy did in her class Facing Forward II (which I did not attend, but she was so generous to share this lesson as a bonus with us). I modified it a bit to include my word for the year. Speaking of classes, I did it again, I bought four already for this year. I was seriously thinking to give up Life Book this year, but then I decided I will enrol anyway – I could not bear the thought of all those wonderful classes happening without me 🙂

I also enrolled in Book of Days, obviously. Previously I bought Jane Davenport’s new class called Over the Rainbow, which will start end of January, and Juna Biagioni’s course Drawing in the Soul, which will start in March. It should be all for this year, I promised myself, unless there will be another new class by Jane Davenport, which I will not miss, because she is the most fun and amazing teacher I ever knew. So, I am fully booked for the year, and I am so happy about it.

January is the month off work for me. It’s been like that for the past three years and I hope it will continue. I have the most amazing bosses in the world who let me take time off for a whole month. I got so used to having the January for myself and find it essential for settling in the new year and getting myself started in the right way, according to what I planned. Not that I make big New Year Resolutions, no way, because I cannot stand the pressure, but I do detemine a general direction to where I want to move and think of ways how to move there. It works. Even though the direction can be wrong, like it was in 2016. But enough of that. It’s a brand new year, I practice detachment and have no regrets.

Book of Days: Week 42

I’ve almost forgotten to write a post today! The day was all messed up by frost and fog preventing me to go for a run first thing in the morning (I went only during lunch break when the fog lifted). So the morning routine was not followed and it made a disturbance in broadcast 🙂

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The aim of the lesson was to represent a healing animal in a tribal tatoo style. Effy opted for a bear, but it did not quite resonate with me. I looked on the internet and found this wolf thing. Not that I am much into wolves or tatoos, but it looked easy enough to draw. Ah, was I wrong…

The first difficulty I encountered was caused by my great idea to have a mirror image on the opposite page. How on earth did I think I could draw it to be the exact copy?! In addition, I have this problem when I try to copy an object with many lines that I mix up the lines and cannot figure out which exact line I am drawing… So that’s when the frustration started.

I cannot tell you how many times I had to erase and start again. Another problem was the busy background which made it even more difficult to track what I drew. I used a white pastel pencil, which thankfully could be just wiped out by fingers (that was a good decision). So, after several hours of sweating and almost giving up several times, all covered in pastel dust, I managed to nail it. And I am pretty happy with it. Lesson learned: use gel image transfer next time, lady!

Book of Days: Week 31

Week 31 of Book of Days finished:

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I could have worked on the face for some time more, maybe it would look better, but I wanted to finish it today because I have other plans for this week. I quite like the look of her and maybe she deserves more attention… Well, I can always go back to her, maybe next week. I loved doing the leaves, it was so calming and meditative. The quote is missing – it was supposed to go to the left hand side over the leaves, but as I liked the leaves so much I did not feel like covering them. Maybe I will reconsider, because the quote was nice too.

Here’s a close-up:

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There is a layer of clear gesso over the background and collage, hence the texture. While it looks interesting, I did not much enjoy doing the colored pencil and marker over it and I may decide to avoid it in future, or limit it to projects where no detailed work is required on top of it. Because no precision work is possible on top of it and because it destroys my markers :).

Look

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Here’s another one in Book of Days series. It’s called ‘look’. I used a photo from the internet as reference. Actually the photo was of a child but I transformed it into a woman. It felt good to actually look at photo and paint as opposed to always painting my women from imagination. This way I could blend my imagination and reality and I really like the result.

Mother

This was the prompt in week 19 of Book of Days. In this case, it’s childless mother. Yes, in case you wonder, such mothers do exist… They will never meet their child, but motherhood is, nevertheless, deep in their bones.

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Storm

I started doing Book of Days finally. Effy is doing, among other things, an art card a week so we can print them out and in the end have a complete deck of inspirational or oracle cards, depending on what works for you. So I  thought I will use my art to make my own deck… quite an ambitious project I know… but let’s see, maybe it will work. The first card I posted yesterday. It was called ’emerge’. This one is called ‘storm’. Fifty more to go 🙂

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October Course Work

Ok yes. Winter is approaching, darkness is here. I am depressed. My thoughts are heavy. My mood is bad. I am poisonous to the people around me. I am lonely. I don’t want company. I am tired. I have headaches almost every day. In spite of all that I make myself go out to the air (and sun, because days are actually warm and beautiful) every day for at least an hour. I think it helps. I make myself art journal every morning. No excuses. And it goes on like that. Christmas is approaching and I always liked everything around it. The lights, the fairs, the baking, the ornaments. This year I don’t seem to be in the right mood. But let’s not despair. It may still come.

I am documenting today the course work I did during October. It’s not much. I’ve done many journal pages, but not so much of course work. It somehow was more important to do the personal stuff. That will be another post, hopefully soon, because even writing this has been a tremendous effort. But I am doing it.

First there are three spreads done for Book of Days with Effy Wild. I really enjoyed that course and I am really satisfied with all the spreads I did there. They were not fast and easy. They needed lot of work, but it was well worth the effort and time.

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And the next three are from Radiant Art Journals again with Effy Wild.This course however is taught by several teachers, and I must say  that the first two lessons were real suffering and the third which I just started is even more suffering. They are simply not me and I cannot say that I enjoyed making them. Here is the first by guest teacher and then Effy’s version of that same lesson:

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The overlapping faces felt scary and uncomfortable, and the three girls simply look soulless to me. I don’t know… Probably I need to get something of myself into them, to do my version of it. I did a bit with the overlapping faces but the whole concept somehow did not work for me.

The next lesson by guest teacher is below. Effy’s version of that I am still doing (that one is proving to be much more to my liking, so I am doing it with pleasure and will post it in one of next posts).

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And that’s all. I am glad I managed the post, all things concerning 🙂 If you read it, I am grateful… Hope to be a better host next time…