Life Book 2017: The Star Girl

This was the main lesson in Week 1:

I took my time with her, but that’s fine. I used gesso and water based markers for her face and hair (I bought Koi Coloring Brush Pen some time ago and wanted to try them out). It worked pretty well and I am quite happy with what I could do with the markers. I made her dress out of washi tape. She was supposed to have a basket full of stars next to her left side, but I did not feel like it and just filled the empty space with some doodles. I am quite proud that I managed to give her hands that actually look like hands.

I know I am terribly late with reading your blogs. I will get to it today and tomorrow, I promise. It looks like I have more time when I am working. That is impossible, but somehow seem to be better organized maybe. Ah well…

I was pretty sad yesterday again thinking about all the things in my life that did not really work out the way I would have liked. I am trying to make peace with the past that cannot be changed and opportunities that were not realized. I know that I must make peace with all that in order to stay healthy and happy, so I am working on it. Whenever negative feelings overcome me I try to repeat some affirmations to counter the negative feelings. I am not sure if they really work or is it just that my mind starts paying attention to affirmations rather than the negative feelings. Whatever it is, it is helping me to go through the day feeling much better and going to bed with the thoughts that the day was a success, which is a step forward definitely.

Detachment

I was watching a movie the other night, and a word came up, and I thought – yes, that’s the perfect word for 2017. Detachment.

2016 was not one of the years I would remember as good or particularly important. It was emotionally draining: started as very promising regarding a long relationship I was trying to resurrect for past 8 years, culminated in an almost disaster in July and then winded down towards the end to a peaceful business as usual. I am basically in the same place where I was in end of 2015 and would happily pay a small fortune if I could forget 2016 as it never happened. That’s how significant it was.

Anyway… I am a bit fed up with always being there for everybody who needs me, uncoditionally, accepting literary everything that’s thrown my way without asking questions and giving my positive energy to those in need and being left drained, frustrated, empty and tired. Yes, last year’s word was “acceptance” and I lived true to it until almost the last day of 2016.

Don’t get me wrong – I love being there for people in need. The problem is, I cannot feel that point where I need to detach from their problems and to deal with my own. Because, my positive energy is not infinite, my helping hand is not made of steel and my heart not made of stone. I get too involved in what is going on. That’s why it’s “detachment” for 2017. I need to hold my own space for awhile and to replenish and refocuss. It’s not that I want to spend the year alone meditating in a cave, but something similar. LOL! Let’s see how it goes.

This is the first spread in Book of Days 2017. It was inspired by a spread Effy did in her class Facing Forward II (which I did not attend, but she was so generous to share this lesson as a bonus with us). I modified it a bit to include my word for the year. Speaking of classes, I did it again, I bought four already for this year. I was seriously thinking to give up Life Book this year, but then I decided I will enrol anyway – I could not bear the thought of all those wonderful classes happening without me 🙂

I also enrolled in Book of Days, obviously. Previously I bought Jane Davenport’s new class called Over the Rainbow, which will start end of January, and Juna Biagioni’s course Drawing in the Soul, which will start in March. It should be all for this year, I promised myself, unless there will be another new class by Jane Davenport, which I will not miss, because she is the most fun and amazing teacher I ever knew. So, I am fully booked for the year, and I am so happy about it.

January is the month off work for me. It’s been like that for the past three years and I hope it will continue. I have the most amazing bosses in the world who let me take time off for a whole month. I got so used to having the January for myself and find it essential for settling in the new year and getting myself started in the right way, according to what I planned. Not that I make big New Year Resolutions, no way, because I cannot stand the pressure, but I do detemine a general direction to where I want to move and think of ways how to move there. It works. Even though the direction can be wrong, like it was in 2016. But enough of that. It’s a brand new year, I practice detachment and have no regrets.

She Thinks Positive Journal: 62-63

My holiday is definitely over and today is a working day. It’s cold but nice and sunny outside. I did not go out today and don’t plan to before tonight and tonight is a movie night, we will probably watch Fantastic Beasts for lack of anything more attractive. I do not expect much from that movie, but let’s see…

I have finished these two girls yesterday before my travel back:

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This morning I lacked inspiration to create anything. I did a few strokes on one unfinished journal page, gessoed two pages in my She Thinks Positive Journal and that’s all. I’ve been scanning the doodles I did over the past days to upload them to my Redbubble shop. I feel tired and nervous, probably because of the change of temperature and scenery. Everything seems to be getting to my nerves and I really need to make a huge effort to stop myself reacting negatively. I will take it easy today…

She Thinks Positive Journal: 58-61

It started raining during the night and it came to be a rather dark and sad morning. I have headache. I hope it will not turn into a migraine, so I have to take it really easy today. I will have to go shopping at some point, because we invited a neighbor to dinner, but right now it’s impossible to go out. Why is it that rain is always stronger at the sea?

Today, I give you four girls:

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I am really pleased with them. One half of the journal is filled and I can say that I made a rather visible progress in my skills, which, of course, makes me rather happy and eager to continue. I wonder how it will look once I reach the end of the book. It’s quite a journey and makes me wish to undertake similar projects with other topics. I seriously started considering it.

The end of my holiday is approaching and, of course, I am really not looking forward to going back to winter. I did plan a trip to Germany for December and then there is all that pre-Christmas atmosphere to enjoy. Advent is one of my favorite times of year, despite the cold and darkness. I love Christmas fairs, festive lights and decorations. We never do Christmas shopping, but we enjoy drinking mulled wine and eating street  food at the fairs. Having little pleasures helps get through December and then the days become longer again and somehow it gets easier…

She Thinks Positive Journal: 55-57

It’s cloudy and windy today. There were even several drops of rain. I went for a run and then for a short walk in the town. We planned to have a coffee and sit in the sun, but it did not really go according to the plan, being all cloudy and windy.

These are the three ladies I painted in my She Thinks Positive Journal over the past two days:

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I think I need to improve the noses a bit,  somehow I am a bit nervous about them… Also I will obviously have to start working on ears. As I am not yet even half way through my journal, there will be plenty of chance to practice.

She Thinks Positive Journal: 52-53

I haven’t been feeling well since Sunday. That’s when my headache started and then developed into a 3-day migraine. I’ve been half-functional almost causing a car crash in Austria the day before yesterday and almost getting hit by a car when crossing a street in Croatia yesterday. I hope it’s all got to do with my perimenopause and that it’s not something more serious causing me to be unable to focus on everyday business of staying safe and alive. I feel quite depressed and scared about everything and although I am doing my best not to disrupt my daily routine, I feel that I am just barely functioning.

I am on holiday. We arrived to Croatia yesterday. Today I tried to take it easy and get rested, which did not really go according to the plan, as I had to go to the bank and finish some money-related business. I tried to have a nap in the afternoon, but I could not fall asleep. I had a walk, but it was not refreshing. The weather is weird, warm but very windy, quite a change from the day before when we had almost freezing temperatures. So, I guess that also needs some getting used to. I am grateful though that the headache is gone and even though I am feeling dazed, at least I am not in pain.

I did my painting time in the morning, but I haven’t finished anything because the air is moist and watercolor takes ages to dry. So, today I will show what I finished two days ago:

I felt like changing their haircuts a bit, so this is where it took me.

I will try now to get some more painting done, even though it’s already dark. I feel like watching some colors mix… Hope it will bring some peace…

She Thinks Positive Journal: 49/120

A quick note today.


This  one is my favourite so far.

After a whole day of rain yesterday, we woke up into a beautiful sunny morning. It’s freezing cold though and I am contempleting whether to go out for a run. Today is the travel day too so I am slowly packing. Have a restful Sunday!