Detachment

I was watching a movie the other night, and a word came up, and I thought – yes, that’s the perfect word for 2017. Detachment.

2016 was not one of the years I would remember as good or particularly important. It was emotionally draining: started as very promising regarding a long relationship I was trying to resurrect for past 8 years, culminated in an almost disaster in July and then winded down towards the end to a peaceful business as usual. I am basically in the same place where I was in end of 2015 and would happily pay a small fortune if I could forget 2016 as it never happened. That’s how significant it was.

Anyway… I am a bit fed up with always being there for everybody who needs me, uncoditionally, accepting literary everything that’s thrown my way without asking questions and giving my positive energy to those in need and being left drained, frustrated, empty and tired. Yes, last year’s word was “acceptance” and I lived true to it until almost the last day of 2016.

Don’t get me wrong – I love being there for people in need. The problem is, I cannot feel that point where I need to detach from their problems and to deal with my own. Because, my positive energy is not infinite, my helping hand is not made of steel and my heart not made of stone. I get too involved in what is going on. That’s why it’s “detachment” for 2017. I need to hold my own space for awhile and to replenish and refocuss. It’s not that I want to spend the year alone meditating in a cave, but something similar. LOL! Let’s see how it goes.

This is the first spread in Book of Days 2017. It was inspired by a spread Effy did in her class Facing Forward II (which I did not attend, but she was so generous to share this lesson as a bonus with us). I modified it a bit to include my word for the year. Speaking of classes, I did it again, I bought four already for this year. I was seriously thinking to give up Life Book this year, but then I decided I will enrol anyway – I could not bear the thought of all those wonderful classes happening without me 🙂

I also enrolled in Book of Days, obviously. Previously I bought Jane Davenport’s new class called Over the Rainbow, which will start end of January, and Juna Biagioni’s course Drawing in the Soul, which will start in March. It should be all for this year, I promised myself, unless there will be another new class by Jane Davenport, which I will not miss, because she is the most fun and amazing teacher I ever knew. So, I am fully booked for the year, and I am so happy about it.

January is the month off work for me. It’s been like that for the past three years and I hope it will continue. I have the most amazing bosses in the world who let me take time off for a whole month. I got so used to having the January for myself and find it essential for settling in the new year and getting myself started in the right way, according to what I planned. Not that I make big New Year Resolutions, no way, because I cannot stand the pressure, but I do detemine a general direction to where I want to move and think of ways how to move there. It works. Even though the direction can be wrong, like it was in 2016. But enough of that. It’s a brand new year, I practice detachment and have no regrets.

Watercolor-Ink Doodles: 27 November

Today I am travelling back. My holiday is over and I am not so happy about that, of course. I think I could have stayed here forever and would not miss civilisation at all. No use thinking about what cannot be at this point in time, so back to reality.

Here are several doodles in watercolor and ink I did over the last several days:

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It’s a beautiful sunny day here, and I hope that at least half of the way back will be nice and easy to drive. Back in the continent it will probably rain, but even rain is better than snow, right?

Watercolor-Ink Doodles: 21 November

I am still on holiday and feeling much better. Today is a beautiful warm sunny day and I went for a run in the morning and then for a walk in the early afternoon. It’s so warm that I was able to go out in short sleeves! I feel that my body is relaxing after days of being cramped due to cold. I am simply not made for cold weather…

I’ve been spending my days mostly painting, reading and walking and evenings having dinners with neighbours and watching Netflix. I am enjoying every moment of it!

Today, I present you several pieces that I did over last two weeks, thinking that maybe I will use them to send to my Instagram friends (some of them already sent happy mail to me, so it’s kind of already overdue, but I thought it’s ok to ship it around Christmas, I am so lazy…). Anyway, they are very intuitive, just play with watercolor and then doodling around with pen, but I quite enjoy doing them and like how they turn out.

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Watercolor Ink Doodle: 23 October

Another doodle:

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I used Stabilo water-based markers for the dots in the middle. I am not sure if I like them, as the dots are not really round because the marker tips are rather big, so it looks kind of weird. I am also not sure if the markers are lightfast. I assume not, because it’s not written on them and that’s not something the producer wouldn’t brag about. So… Meh…

I am still working on the spread for BOD and it’s getting there. It will be finished today, so I hope tomorrow I can show it to you. It’s looking good.

Today is the travelling day. I am waiting for the fog to lift to go for a run. It’s very cold, dump and sad outside, but it looks like it is going to be another sunny day. Good for driving, if one has to.

Have a beautiful Sunday!

Watercolor Ink Doodle: 21 October

I did this one a couple days ago:

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I used blue, turquoise and sap green watercolors and ink markers.

Today I am working on Book of Days again. It’s been raining for 48 hours, so no running on two mornings. Yesterday I went for a walk in the afternoon, in the rain, because I felt like going crazy closed in the house for more than 24 hours. Today, I think, it’s the movies again. According to the forecast, there should be no rain tomorrow, so I may manage some long delayed garden work and maybe even a run in the morning. I really like autumn colors, but that’s about all I like about autumn. Rain is just awful, cold is horrible, and darkness is depressing. But no point in complaining, right? Plus, it’s Friday today! YAY!

Migraine: Day 4

Ok, now this is too much. I had to get up at 4 am to take painkillers. And then more just a couple hours later. One could argue that I am lucky to still be able to function, so it’s not that bad. I haven’t lost a day of work (couple hours yes). I get nervous about time wasted lying in the dark staring at the ceiling. But that’s what my body needs, so I have to accept that it’s not wasted. Do I make sense? My mind is blurry and I am not sure to what degree I still function. Gets a bit scary driving to work and back. Anyway… I started the supplement again. No choice. I do not want to have migraines every month again. No.

Here is the doodle from this morning:

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I am not so happy with it, but that’s fine. I cannot be happy with everything I make. Listening to Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic while driving to and back from work. It’s interesting. Have you read it yet?

Migraine Day 3

I did not tell you, but my migraines are back. I stopped taking the herbal supplement that I was taking for more than 6 months and now I have to deal with pain again. Anyway, they are not as bad as they used to be, so I do not need so many painkillers and I can almost function normally. So, hope to be ‘normal’ tomorrow…

Here’s the one I did yesterday:

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Now I see that it’s a bit out of focus, but it’s too late to take another photo. I will have to live with the imperfection. LOL!