Category Archives: Musings About Stuff

Black Book January: Update #6

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I have two new finished mandalas in my Black Book. This is one:

I started it weeks ago and then my white pen gave up and I did not have the ink to refill it, so I had to leave it and start something else. This week I reconnected with my white ink, so here it is. In the middle rose triangles there are black dots which were not originally black, but contained white pearls which fell off and I did not replace them. That is is bit of a problem with doing dimensional things in a book. Those simply got stuck to the previous page… maybe they were not completely dry…

The second one I finished is this one:

I used the new Edding metallic markers – they work pretty nice on this black paper. Today I did another one with these markers, but I did not take a photo in the daylight, so I need to leave it until the next update. I also filmed that one, so there will be a video tomorrow or the day after.

Otherwise, I went skiing yesterday to a nearby place – nothing fancy, just a small local resort with easy tracks. I was skiing maybe for 1.5 hours and I got so frozen that I had to leave. It took me hours to warm up once I came home. So that was not such a brilliant idea after all, but it did make me feel happier, exercise always does. We are supposed to go to Slovakia next week for a 3-days skiing holiday and now I am really wondering how much skiing there will be. It seems that the weather is not getting any warmer.

Today I spent the day at home, drawing and painting. I finished another lesson from Life Book (will show you tomorrow). Somehow I have a feeling that I did not accomplish enough, actually, I often have that feeling, like the day just flies away and here I am: been nowhere, done nothing. Of course it’s not the case, but obviously I need to work on making myself feel more positive about what I accomplish. Small things…

Life Book 2017: The Star Girl

Posted in Faces, Mixed Media, Musings About Stuff by

This was the main lesson in Week 1:

I took my time with her, but that’s fine. I used gesso and water based markers for her face and hair (I bought Koi Coloring Brush Pen some time ago and wanted to try them out). It worked pretty well and I am quite happy with what I could do with the markers. I made her dress out of washi tape. She was supposed to have a basket full of stars next to her left side, but I did not feel like it and just filled the empty space with some doodles. I am quite proud that I managed to give her hands that actually look like hands.

I know I am terribly late with reading your blogs. I will get to it today and tomorrow, I promise. It looks like I have more time when I am working. That is impossible, but somehow seem to be better organized maybe. Ah well…

I was pretty sad yesterday again thinking about all the things in my life that did not really work out the way I would have liked. I am trying to make peace with the past that cannot be changed and opportunities that were not realized. I know that I must make peace with all that in order to stay healthy and happy, so I am working on it. Whenever negative feelings overcome me I try to repeat some affirmations to counter the negative feelings. I am not sure if they really work or is it just that my mind starts paying attention to affirmations rather than the negative feelings. Whatever it is, it is helping me to go through the day feeling much better and going to bed with the thoughts that the day was a success, which is a step forward definitely.

Black Book January: Update #6

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Today we travelled to Slovenia, so there was no time for art at all in the morning, but I plan to squeeze some mandala time in the evening, after blogging and before Netflix. I can show you now a work in progress, the one I started yesterday:

It was very cold in the house when we arrived, so we just quickly unpacked, got the heating going and left to have lunch and spend a couple hours in a local mall until the house temperature reached life supporting level. Of course, there was a visit to the local art store and I got me some pearl pens and black gesso (I want to try twinkling H2Os on black, as a part of my Black Book challenge and the paper in my book is too thin, so I plan to cover watercolor paper with black gesso and see what I can do, I’ll do it tomorrow and let you know how it goes). And then I also got some metallic pain markers which are supposed to work on black paper, so I will also try them at some point. Lots of plans, as you see. In addition, I need to try to catch up with course work this week. I cannot believe I am actually saying this, the year has just started and I am already behind. That is obviously because I am doing so much of my own drawing, so I am wondering why I needed all those classes again.

Anyway, detachment… also from stressing about course work I cannot manage. Last year I challenged myself to do all Life Book lessons, and it pretty much worked, but I ended up not finishing a few pieces and doing a couple that I did not really enjoy. This year I am not doing that. I will concentrate on doing lessons I really like. There will be less done, but that’s ok. Do I sound like I am not stressing about it? Today, there was no time for quiet time and examining my feelings, so tonight I will try to have a bit of reflection time before going to sleep. Speaking of which – I will finally have my room all to myself and I hope for a great, deep and refreshing ZZZZZZ….

Black Book January: Update #5

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I have finished another mandala today:

 

This one was quick and easy. I used Sakura gel metallic pens and white Uni Ball pen. I was sitting by the swimming pool and drawing. It was a great day: swimming, sauna, art and resting all day long. I really needed it. I also started some meditation exercise to practice detachment – it basically consists of exploration of my feelings and attitudes towards things and people that are causing me pain. I knew before that it’s all in my head, and consequently it should be easy to dismiss. However, I notice that whenever I am actively observing my feelings, I am fine, but I don’t seem to keep it up. Once I slip, I am on a downhill slope and if I do not make a serious effort to contain the emotional spillage, it all gets messy again. So, obviously what is needed is constant attention. Let’s see if it is possible…

It’s our last night here. I am happy in a way, because nights are hard. I am not used to sharing a room with another person and I am having troubles sleeping (Mother snoring, coughing, tossing, breathing, just being there…). My sensory antennas are so finely tuned that nothing escapes me even when I sleep. And that’s never good, not even during the day, because it’s so exhausting and distracting. So, I am gladly giving up sauna and pool for a good night’s sleep in my own room.

Detachment

Posted in Faces, Mixed Media, Musings About Stuff by

I was watching a movie the other night, and a word came up, and I thought – yes, that’s the perfect word for 2017. Detachment.

2016 was not one of the years I would remember as good or particularly important. It was emotionally draining: started as very promising regarding a long relationship I was trying to resurrect for past 8 years, culminated in an almost disaster in July and then winded down towards the end to a peaceful business as usual. I am basically in the same place where I was in end of 2015 and would happily pay a small fortune if I could forget 2016 as it never happened. That’s how significant it was.

Anyway… I am a bit fed up with always being there for everybody who needs me, uncoditionally, accepting literary everything that’s thrown my way without asking questions and giving my positive energy to those in need and being left drained, frustrated, empty and tired. Yes, last year’s word was “acceptance” and I lived true to it until almost the last day of 2016.

Don’t get me wrong – I love being there for people in need. The problem is, I cannot feel that point where I need to detach from their problems and to deal with my own. Because, my positive energy is not infinite, my helping hand is not made of steel and my heart not made of stone. I get too involved in what is going on. That’s why it’s “detachment” for 2017. I need to hold my own space for awhile and to replenish and refocuss. It’s not that I want to spend the year alone meditating in a cave, but something similar. LOL! Let’s see how it goes.

This is the first spread in Book of Days 2017. It was inspired by a spread Effy did in her class Facing Forward II (which I did not attend, but she was so generous to share this lesson as a bonus with us). I modified it a bit to include my word for the year. Speaking of classes, I did it again, I bought four already for this year. I was seriously thinking to give up Life Book this year, but then I decided I will enrol anyway – I could not bear the thought of all those wonderful classes happening without me 🙂

I also enrolled in Book of Days, obviously. Previously I bought Jane Davenport’s new class called Over the Rainbow, which will start end of January, and Juna Biagioni’s course Drawing in the Soul, which will start in March. It should be all for this year, I promised myself, unless there will be another new class by Jane Davenport, which I will not miss, because she is the most fun and amazing teacher I ever knew. So, I am fully booked for the year, and I am so happy about it.

January is the month off work for me. It’s been like that for the past three years and I hope it will continue. I have the most amazing bosses in the world who let me take time off for a whole month. I got so used to having the January for myself and find it essential for settling in the new year and getting myself started in the right way, according to what I planned. Not that I make big New Year Resolutions, no way, because I cannot stand the pressure, but I do detemine a general direction to where I want to move and think of ways how to move there. It works. Even though the direction can be wrong, like it was in 2016. But enough of that. It’s a brand new year, I practice detachment and have no regrets.

She Thinks Positive Journal: 30/120

Posted in Art Journal, Colored Pencils, Faces, Musings About Stuff, She thinks positive journal by

One more girl in my ‘She Thinks Positive’ Journal. She is 30 out of 120, but I did skip two pages which were gessoed before and I did not want to use colored pencils on them, so the numbering is a bit screwed up.

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Done with watercolor and colored pencils. I finished her yesterday.

It’s Monday again and my internet is not working since yesterday. I called the provider last night and they could  not do anything remotely, so today they should come and do whatever they need to do here. I am connected through my mobile data plan, which is not bad at all, but no Netflix and no YouTube and no Vimeo… BAH! How used I am to having internet all the time! I felt positively lost last night without the ability to watch Netflix. I had to make a conscious effort to implement ‘disaster recovery plan’ and find a movie on the TV. Isn’t it weird?! Tonight I will go out to the movies, just in case :). LOL! Joking! I go to the movies every second Monday, because it’s ‘two for one’ day. But I do hope they will fix the internet during the day… Sigh…!

Redbubble

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Yes, I did it. The shop is called Lucydesigns because Lucyscoloringbook was too long!

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I uploaded only three pictures. Scanning and editing takes a long time and I have a full time job. Anyway, I really like how my paintings look on their stuff, so I will probably have to order something for myself. It sucks because I live in Europe and shipping and customs will make my life miserable, but I like to think that it will be worth it. I will let you know when I decide to do it.

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This was my start of this week. I am also playing catch-up with Life Book and Vitamin Sea. I hope to do 3-4 lessons until end of week.

Post-Migraine Musings

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I seem to be fine today. Except feeling a bit shaky and sad, but it may have nothing to do with anything that happened previously. Actually, it has everything to do with at least something that happened, otherwise it would not be happening. Do you know what I mean? No? Never mind. I did finish something in my Play Journal this morning, but I did not take a photo. Instead I recorded a small video for Instagram, and I will try to insert it here, not sure if it will work, let’s see…

It’s not working in the preview, maybe it will work in the real view, maybe not, bear with me. I think it’s not my fault, I am pretty good with computers but this WordPress application has a  mind of its own.

The weather is nice and sunny and it’s been really beautiful the whole week. Alas, I am office-based, so I can only admire it from inside and with the migraine going on for four days I didn’t do even that. I did not go for my morning run this morning, because I was afraid that the migraine might come back. And I needed the rest. Instead I doodled a bit longer this morning while drinking my coffee and it felt really good. I love my mornings.

I had this sudden idea while I was driving to work today that I could open a Redbubble or Society6 profile and see if I can get some audience for my stuff. Actually I was thinking how cool it would be if I could get some of my doodles on a t-shirt or pencil case, or pillow case, or some such thing. So, maybe I will get something going next week when I get to the scanner and properly scan stuff, because photos that I am taking are not really well taken. Let me stay with that idea for a little while. Maybe… Maybe it’s just a migraine after effect and it will pass. It would not be the first time.

I also finally get the idea how to finish the huge canvas I started months ago on my mother’s request. Oh, I am so bad with producing ‘useful’ art. I easily fill the journals and notebooks, but when it comes to actually purposefully producing something to really hang on a wall, I am useless. So, I have this idea: I already did the background and was thinking about doing some doodle flowers on top, but somehow could not decide how exactly I want them. So, related to the previous idea of scanning and printing my doodles, I thought maybe I could use the prints to make a collage on top of that big canvas. I think it might look cool. So, I am definitely scanning those pages next week and printing them the week after, and then I will see how they look and decide.

And I also need to continue playing catch-up with my courses. I decided that I will stick to Life Book and Vitamin Sea because they are the most important. I will download Ever After lessons for some time later. After I finish the Vitamin Sea, I will concentrate on BOD 2016, which was totally neglected. Oh, yes, and I already downloaded the Art Journal Summer School 2016 and I will do it next year in January to make winter more bearable. Does it sound like a plan to you? And no shopping for courses until Christmas. After that I will buy Life Book 2017. But that’s allowed, right?

So… If you read until here, thanks for your effort. If you lost me somewhere along the way, I don’t blame you. Regular arting broadcast will resume tomorrow 🙂

Life Book Update: 20 September

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I was not excited about the last week’s bonus lesson in Life Book, but it was doable and I hate skipping lessons (until now I skipped only one), so here it is:

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I think it’s very obvious that I did not put much effort, but the point was not so much about drawing and painting. It was about healing and setting boundaries and in that respect the lesson was very good. The house represents myself, the space inside the fence are my closest people (probably family), the space outside are my friends, just across the river my working colleagues and other people I know but do not really ‘click’ with, and up on the moon the people I have to keep away from.

In my case majority of people  I know are on the other side of the river and just a few on the house side. I am glad that there are only two people on the moon though, which tells me that I manage my relationships quite fine. For an extreme introvert that is… May look strange to you, but I feel comfortable like that.

Frozen

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It’s raining. It’s been raining for two days. I am confused. I have too many things to do. I do not feel like doing anything. I am tired. I do not know what to do. That summarizes it.

This one I worked on during our company retreat:

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The retreat went well, but left me exhausted. It was too much. I needed time to come back to normal. But I did not have time. I needed to travel and work. And then a problem appeared which needs solving, and more travelling and it unsettled me. Hence my feeling of not being able to do anything. And the rain does not help.

And then I am thinking about catching up with the courses I took. Why did I take 5 courses I cannot possible manage to follow? I knew it would be impossible, but I still tried. I am a bit mad at myself because I always think I can do more than I can. And it creates anxiety. Like I do not have enough of it anyway…

So I am paralized. Frozen in time. Cannot get going. There are too many things to do and I know I cannot make it. So I choose to not do anything. Does it make sense? Instead of enjoying the courses I am taking, I made myself miserable and started thinking about the lessons like something I have to do. Like work that needs finishing, like obligation that needs to be fulfilled. Look, it’s crazy!

This morning I painted with watercolors. It’s drying, I will post it tomorrow. I did not do any of my outstanding lessons in my five courses. They will have to wait and I will need time to recover. From today until December 31 I am enforcing a ban on buying art courses. On January 1st I will reassess the status. There is only so many hours in a day and there are limits to what I can achieve and stay sane and happy. That’s what I wanted to say today.